Sloppy ad edits detract from newsletter quality.

A local newsletter arrived in my mailbox this week. The articles are well written, but many of the advertisements contain poor usage and punctuation. Here is one example:

I take Pride in what I do and putting Smiles on my client's  faces! 

Whoops! Does this business person have only one client? That is what the apostrophe before the S implies. Putting the apostrophe after the S implies much more business! I would also add the word IN before PUTTING to make the sentence more parallel.  NOTE: In advertising copy, I don't see a problem with capitalizing PRIDE and SMILES for emphasis. Here is my suggested edit:

I take Pride in what I do and in putting Smiles on my clients'  faces! 

Here is another Glitchy ad sentence from the same newsletter:

Our goal is to make sure your custom building needs are built the way you want it!

Whoops again!  NEEDS (plural) does not describe what the customer wants built. And IT (singular) cannot refer back to the plural NEEDS. The goal should be to complete the PROJECT the way the customer wants it. The sentence should read this way:

Our goal is to make sure your custom building project is built the way you want it!

 

 

 

 

 

I take II 

 


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