All the total income? Wordiness is alive and well.

 The former mayor of White Hall, Alabama, has been sentenced to two years in prison in a case involving tax returns. (Apparently, fraud is alive and well, too!) The following description of his crime appeared in a news brief in yesterday's The Birmingham News:

Court documents state that Jackson was accused of filing false tax returns in 2004, 2005 and 2006 that did not report all of the total income earned by him and his spouse, according to court documents.

First, the word ALL means basically the same thing as TOTAL.  One or the other will do in this sentence.  Second, the writer puts COURT DOCUMENTS STATE at the beginning of the sentence, and then for good measure, adds ACCORDING TO COURT DOCUMENTS at the end. In my workshops, I refer to this as "bopping it twice when once will do."

A quick proofread should have caught both of these redundancies before the newspaper went to print. This sentence should read as follows:

Court documents state that Jackson was accused of filing false tax returns in 2004, 2005 and 2006 that did not report the total income earned by him and his spouse.

 

BONUS GLITCH FOR THE DAY: Here is another gem from the blogosphere–I hope you read lot's of things. Whoops!  LOTS is simply plural, not possessive. This sentence should read–I hope you read lots of things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Tags: ,

One Response to “All the total income? Wordiness is alive and well.”

  1. I love meeting useful info, this post has got me even more info! . reseller hosting | whm reseller |

Leave a Reply